Ask eris anything: The Advice Column Thread

**erisesoteric** · July 28th, 2003, 08:46 AM

Originally posted by Chaos Butterfly:
Dear Eris,

In a fit of anger at the person who nicked my stuff I decided to curse them. I got a Witchcraft For Dummies Book from the library and followed the instructions. Unfortunately during the ritual sacrifice it got a bit messy. Do you have any good tips on how to get Goat's blood out of carpet because my mum's gonna kill me.

Also I think I did something wrong as I seem to acquired a 40ft dragon in my backyard and its starting to look a bit hungrily at the neighbours. Do you know anyone or a humane society that would like to adopt a 40ft dragon?

Roasted Roses [img]graemlins/wilted.gif[/img]

Use seltzer water on the carpet. If that doesn't work, buy a nice throw rug. And send the dragon to me. I'll set him up here at the hotel as the Royal Suite, and offer him as an upgrade to those "picky" guests that my supes spend too much time trying to appease.

**Derico** · July 28th, 2003, 11:45 AM

Dear Eris,

Recently, I was advised by someone (I won't mention this famous excelsior EIC by name) that the best way to protect my good comics, especially the DC books, would be to freezedry them - does this sound like a good idea to you?

Befuddled Zombie.

**erisesoteric** · July 28th, 2003, 11:57 AM

Originally posted by Derico:
Dear Eris,

Recently, I was advised by someone (I won't mention this famous excelsior EIC by name) that the best way to protect my good comics, especially the DC books, would be to freezedry them - does this sound like a good idea to you?

Befuddled Zombie.

He's absolutely right. Pop those puppies in the freezedryer. Except for any Vertigo titles. Those are made with a specially treated paper that crumbles when freezedried.

And hey, if it doesn't work, well, all you're out is some icky Superman comics, anyway. EXCELSIOR!

(why The Man keeps babbling on about packing material is beyond even my limitless understanding)

**Exotic Ginger** · July 28th, 2003, 12:17 PM

Dear Eris,

My neighbor is an unfit man in his mid-forties who insists on walking around the house in very tight leopard print thongs. This is a really disgusting habit that I wish he would stop. Its interfering with the enjoyment I usually get from my hobby of watching the neighbors with binoculars. How can I get him to stop so I can go back to spying on my neighbors without feeling nausious?

**erisesoteric** · July 28th, 2003, 12:29 PM

Originally posted by Gem F:
Dear Eris,

My neighbor is an unfit man in his mid-forties who insists on walking around the house in very tight leopard print thongs. This is a really disgusting habit that I wish he would stop. Its interfering with the enjoyment I usually get from my hobby of watching the neighbors with binoculars. How can I get him to stop so I can go back to spying on my neighbors without feeling nausious?

Borrow Jadian's new paint gun. Problem solved. And, as I pointed out earlier, tax deductable, as well.

**Exotic Ginger** · July 28th, 2003, 12:41 PM

Should I aim for the thong?

**erisesoteric** · July 28th, 2003, 12:54 PM

Originally posted by Gem F:
Should I aim for the thong?

Hey! None of this wound them and let them run around hurt stuff! Take one clean shot at the brain. A shot on either cheek should get him.

**Exotic Ginger** · July 28th, 2003, 01:04 PM

Gtcha! Thanks. [img]smile.gif[/img]

(and sorry about that capital "e" thing. I forgot.)

**Lulu** · July 29th, 2003, 12:03 AM

Eris-

Why did I ruin my own credit as a foolish young thing? Is there hope for me yet?

Will I ever own my own house or will my future children be playing hopscotch on busy streets and sleeping in the livingroom of a one bedroom apt?

signed-
Cramped in California

[ July 28, 2003 09:04 PM: Message edited by: Lulu ]